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Inner Ease, Inner Monitoring and Self-Talk

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Inner Ease, Inner Monitoring and Self-Talk

HeartMath Institute President Sara Childre offers the following advice for attaining your personal state of ease, connecting with the qualities of your heart and maintaining emotional balance for less stressful days.

Inner Self-Monitoring

As you start your day, and occasionally throughout the day, ask yourself the following questions:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • What perceptions do I have at this moment in time about me and the world around me?

Breathe ease – Inner-Ease Technique described below – as you ask yourself these important questions, and continue breathing ease as you answer. Often, you will feel a perception change or shift in pitch by simply asking these questions.

Once you become comfortable and establish a daily routine for asking these questions, you will be ready to look more deeply into your heart.

Change From the Heart

As the answers to your questions begin to flow more freely, you may spot areas where you would like to make changes. Make a list – from the heart – of three behaviors or patterns toward people or situations you would like to change, and be sure to write down only three of these to start. (You can add more to your list later.) Examples include impatience, hasty reactions, frustration and irritation. It is important not to judge yourself as you do this.


Have a sincere and honest self-talk about the three items you listed. Ease into your heart and observe and honor your desire to change. The most meaningful self-talk occurs when the heart – your true self – speaks to the mind. If you feel yourself drifting into mind talk, make a genuine effort to ease back into your heart.

If indecision or self-doubt begin to surface, this is only your mind talking. Simply realize that it is your old way of thinking, and reconnect with your heart and recommit to the change you truly desire.

Inner-Ease Technique

Quick Steps:

  1. Acknowledge your true feelings.
  2. Do heart-focused breathing.
  3. Draw in a feeling of inner ease and balance.
  4. Affirm, anchor and maintain a state of ease.

Go to The State of Ease e-booklet for complete instructions.

Applying Inner Ease

Identify daily activities, situations or interactions for which you think the Inner-Ease Technique could be helpful.

Here are some ideas: on a project at work; at a sensitive meeting; during a conversation; when you have a lot to do; waiting in line; getting on the freeway; while your computer reboots; or while doing something you would rather not do.

Here is how Lois applied the Inner-Ease Technique at work.

Lois arrives at her workplace and runs into Sally. She recalls how, at yesterday’s office meeting, Sally snapped at her. Through inner monitoring, she acknowledges that seeing Sally today brings up a feeling of resentment.

Rather than give any energy to her resentment, Lois instead listens to the voice in her heart and applies the Inner-Ease Technique to the situation. As she reflects on her thoughts and feelings behind her previous communication with Sally, she tells herself, “Perhaps I didn’t explain things clearly to Sally when I spoke to her at the meeting, or maybe she was simply having a bad day. I can understand that.”

As Lois proceeds through the steps of Inner-Ease, she experiences a release and realizes Sally’s reaction was not so significant after all and lets it go. She begins to feel warmth in her heart for Sally and appreciation for who she is and all she does at work.

Decide where and when you can apply ease in your life, and take a few moments each day for a little inner monitoring and quiet self-talk to connect with your heart. This will lower your stress and raise your spirits.

Properties of Ease

  • Removes the hard edges from challenges.
  • Softens the fabric of life.
  • Diffuses overreaction, drama and significance.
  • Helps release attachment to outcomes.
  • Discards undesirable patterns.

HeartMath Institute founder Doc Childre tells us:

“Finding the state of inner-ease is not just for bailing out of stress, but for maintaining heart connection and coherent alignment between mind, emotions and heart. The state of ease is not about moving through the day at the speed of a snail, nor a sleepy-time relaxation state.

“It’s about slowing down your inner body language – the mechanical mental and emotional reactions that cause mistakes and compromise friendships, and create internal drama that leads us to judge ourselves or others.”